Tag Hour...

Rohit, you tagged me at the wrong time. Heavy work schedule, not-so-good manager and the wait for the results had made my mood very bad. Working till 1am or 2 am in the morning even on Sundays and Saturdays are not so pleasing things, in fact it’s very frustrating. But what else to do, other than curse my bad luck and continue working like a dog. Now that the project is over I have more than just enough time to relax and do this tagging stuff at office. Sometimes I feel this world is beautiful. Sometimes it is equally bad.

1. LAST MOVIE YOU SAW IN A THEATER: Raghav’s last movie was Race, Rohit’s too was Race. So you can’t expect anything other than that from me either. Sometimes when you go out with a girl you ought to make some compromises. I made a girl saw American gangster and she took a heavy revenge on me that even Osama woulldn’t dare to take on George Bush; she took me to 4 hindi movies in a row, phew. It started with Taare Zammen par, which was a good movie. The next three movies I saw would have been a nightmare if my companion weren’t a beautiful girl. Black and whte, Jodhaa Akbar(I couldn’t understand a single word in that movie), and the last but not the least, the mighty RACE..
2. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING?: The problem with me is that I don’t complete a book before I move to the next. There are two books that I am reading now. One is To Sir with Love and the other is My Name is Red(Nobel winning book..). They are very much interesting .

3. FAVORITE BOARD GAME?: Snake and Ladder. It reminds me of good old school days where I and my brother used to have fight for cheating each other. What else can replace the suspense and thrill this age old game can give? Perhaps Jumanji or Zathura could.

4. FAVORITE MAGAZINE?: SPORTSTAR. That’s it. The one great weekly for a fan like me. My love for SPORTSTAR started during 1992 Euro, and I from then onwards I haven’t missed a single editions of Euro and World cup specials. I simply love the Sharapova and Kournikova posters they come with.

5. FAVORITE SMELLS?: There are a lot in the list. The smell of good “avail”. The smell of “kachiya velichanna” on a girl’s head. The smell of dry earth during the mango showers. The smell of Home.

6. FAVORITE SOUND?: The sound of heavy rain. It calms my mind a lot. I just love sitting alone enjoying the music of the nature.

7. WORST FEELING IN THE WORLD?: I really hate the feeling  I have when Arsenal lose. Stomach sinks. Eyes blur. I feel like life doesn’t have any meaning at all.

8. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU THINK OF WHEN YOU WAKE?: Is it the time to wake up???

9. FAVORITE FAST FOOD PLACE? Trivandrum Thattukadas. No other fast food place can even come close to that. Dosa, rasa vada, pappadam and the great single omelette. To rohit. Not every time the free food is the good food.

10. FUTURE CHILD'S NAME? Parvathi, Lekshmi or Divya if it’s a girl. I haven’t decided on the boy’s name.

11. FINISH THIS STATEMENT. "IF I HAD A LOT OF MONEY I'D...? quit this job. As simple as that.

12. DO YOU DRIVE FAST? I drive sensibly. Sometimes when a straight road lies ahead of me, I feel a sudden rush of blood in my body. The next thing I see is my P180’s speedo reaching 100. I get scared when I go at that level. But still sometimes I like to be scared..

13. DO YOU SLEEP WITH A STUFFED ANIMAL?: WTF?? Wish  could sleep with Sushmita Sen.

14. STORMS-COOL OR SCARY?: It’d be cool if it were in a story.

15. WHAT WILL BE YOUR FIRST CAR?: I have slightly modified the question for my purpose. My first car? Perhaps a Lance Evolution 10, fully loaded rally edition. Sounds cool, huh?

16. FAVORITE DRINK? Depends on the mood. If I had a bad day at work you know tea or fruit juice wouldn’t do to vent your frsutration.

17. FINISH THIS STATEMENT, "IF I HAD THE TIME I WOULD..." : Nothing, because now I have time.

18. DO YOU EAT THE STEMS ON BROCCOLI? No. it is against my ideology..

19. IF YOU COULD DYE YOUR HAIR ANY COLOR, WHAT WOULD BE YOUR CHOICE? Red, no doubt about it..

20. NAME ALL THE DIFFERENT CITIES/TOWNS YOU HAVE LIVED IN. I prefer not to answer this question ;-)

21. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH? FOOTBALL. FOOTBALL. FOOTBALL.

22. ONE NICE THING ABOUT THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU.: he gave me something to kill my time off.

23. WHAT'S UNDER YOUR BED? My soiled UW-s!!!

24. WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE BORN AS YOURSELF AGAIN? : I want a change. For the past 10 life I was myself that I got bored being me.

25. MORNING PERSON, OR NIGHT OWL? : A bit of both. I can wake up early and sleep late, given they don’t happen on a same day.

26. OVER EASY, OR SUNNY SIDE UP? : I don’t know. If you are putting some complex questions into this simple stuff, it won’t look attractive

27. FAVORITE PLACE TO RELAX? : A BAR.

28. FAVORITE PIE? Thengakkolla(Coconut bunch).

29. FAVORITE ICE CREAM FLAVOR? Whisky.

30. OF ALL THE PEOPLE YOU TAGGED THIS TO, WHO'S MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND FIRST? I can’t tag when I am in office, they have blocked the blogspot.

 

Torments....Episode 1

It’s almost three months since I have posted something. Busy schedule, I must say, kept me off from blogosphere. A lot of things have happened in my life, met new people, saw some old friends, Arsenal went down on the table, interviews got over, one of my colleagues quit the job etc.. So many things, in such a short period, phew.

Some of the interviews I had were very funny for the interview panel. But I would rather say those were biggest tortures I’ve ever faced in my life. If some of the panelists were not all interested in what I was speaking, some others were not all interested about my existence in that room.

The Kozhikode interview was funniest among all the five interviews I had. A young prof made a complete jackass out of me. I won’t forget that interview in this life. I never thought he could ever torment a person the way he did to me.

It started like this. He drew two pair of lines, one with 2000V written b/w the lines, the other with 200V.

Prof(Resting his upper torso and head on the table): Which one would cause more shock?

This question itself shocked me(who is a Electrical Engineer by degree) as if I have touched the live terminal of a substation. A plethora of thoughts went across my mind. Such a trivial question, I am dumbfound. There is something wrong with my fundamentals, but how on earth 200V could cause more shock than 2000V? I don’t know. I again looked into paper to see whether I had missed or had imagined any zeroes. There is nothing wrong with my eye sight, but my concepts are wrong. Just to make my life worse I asked..

Me: Whether the same person is touching both the lines, the environment, is he wearing any shock proof apparels or accessories etc?

Prof: (Nodded his head in a skeptical manner)

I started thinking again suddenly I told

Me: 2000V,no way 200V could casue more shock. Ohm’s law. Blah…blah… (I was sweating, as if I am in Sahara Desert, in air-conditioned room). By the time I finished answering that question I lost all my confidence and only thing I wanted was to get out of that room. I was looking him in such a way that he would have wondered why the hell the government spent its resources on “educating” such an idiot.

Office , not so sweet office...

After a week of great vacation at home, the day has come, the day to go back to a place somewhere in between the fifth and sixth levels of hell,Bangalore, more obviously the office. Nothing could get ever worse as this. I really hate this time, going back to office after a so called "long break". I don't know why, may be because my mind is a little bit upset today due to Arsenal losing some points yesterday. I don't know the real reason.
This time tomorrow I will be writing some code or design that has nothing to do with any sort of creativity. I feel very bad at times and sometimes I really like the work. I am not able to logically relate things I am doing.. Sometimes I really don't know what to do, my mind wanders into the unknown.
Regds,
__Myself

In the office on a high!!!

Nothing feels as good as writing software requirements and having discussion with a senior systems architect when you have downed a couple of pints of beer. That’s kind of situation I am in. It was supposed to be a b’day treat of my so called “project leader” who is really a member of a “Mafia” headed by me in facebook, strange isn’t it? I just can’t imagine what the hell I’ll go and discuss in front of a highly senior and respected guy. At this point the best I can do is analyze the relation between Narendra Modi and sensibility. Things seem to be funny. All my team mates are on a high except one. A great socialistic team.

I can feel my eyes drooping when I type in this. Aaaha!!! What a pleasure it is.

Need to look into certain things about which I should make my genuine comments. I really don’t know what is the scope of this project. What I know is I will get paid for all sort of illogical things I write, say and design. Hope my appraiser won’t see this!!!!

Russian Roulette and some confessions

Three posts in five days, life seems to be pretty cool these days, with nothing much to do. 10:30 to 17:30 has become my office time. The world has become better, it seems. I know, all my joys are short lived. Every time I write something boasting about the freedom I used to enjoy at that moment, I never knew I was playing Russian roulette with a fully loaded gun, which kills my peace by giving me work which I could never finish in a fortnight. Life isn’t bliss always.

I am addicted to Malayalam melodrama these days. I don’t know why I like them; to be precise I really like three of them, two of which are in same time so I need to do some trickery with the remote so as not to miss any important chunk in any of them. I still know the time when I looked in disgust the people who watched these soaps. I never expected to be in a position that even I was not very fond of. Life isn’t predictable.

I don’t know whether I am gaining or losing weight. I take in huge quantities of junk food these days, but still the jeans aren’t so tight to categorize me as an obese overfed Indian youth. Everyday I go to sleep by making a pledge to myself that I start my exercise regime the very next morning. But by the time I wake up there will be hardly enough time for me to get ready and pack my bags to office. I really feel bad about my health. I fear I have serious respiratory problems because of the pollution in the neighbourhood.

Back to work…..

Yet another project in the Wall-2

As I have said earlier, I thought I will get nice time to relax after the last project. I dreamt a little too much of the joy. The joy of leaving the office at 5 pm and the joy of having a nice little time in front of the TV. The dreams are short lived as they say. I am moved to another project. Thoughts of what to do on a weekday evening came to sudden stop.

Life is never as frustrating as it is now. Freedom exists only in school books. I feel I am in a jail, a jail that has glass walls, which impedes the freedom. While the people around me are trying to push off their time somehow, I spend it reading some design documents which does no good to my mind that craves for some long needed rest.

I need to finish the study before the end of the day and “actively take part in the design discussions on the following days”. To rub salt on my wounds, expectations are high from me this time. God forbid!

PS: Life seems to be surrealistic when I hear the song “Coming back to Life”.

The Late Post.

Pretty long time since I have posted something. The time is right and I have nothing to do. Just stare in to the unknown of PC monitor, read some mails check some mails, forward some mails, and rock your head to some good groovy music. I love it. I have a great amount of time at my disposal. Billy Joel’s “We didn’t start the fire” is good.

Yesterday was Maman’s treat. Treat means, a buffet treat and a nice a time to hog till you could hardly move. By the way my manger has moved to some other project. Here is the bottom line from our senior manger.

We appreciate your efforts in all activities and enhancing the effectiveness in achieving the overall quality in Development Projects .

 

And a special mention of your team spirit and motivation to take on any new areas & ideas with lots of enthusiasium.

I too have the same opinion; I gave him a nice little handshake and wished him all the best. But when I looked into his eyes I saw a light freedom, a light of escape I should say. I too have the same feeling. Manager is gone, Long live the manager. I don’t know when I will be put into the new project so that I need to go back to the same old mundane.

That time may come or may not come, but I am happy like a little kid who got his toy.

Meanwhile the England FA is having a bad time. England football team and Indian cricket team has many things in common.

1. Media overhype.

2. A bunch of players who are overvalued.

3. Constant presence in the Page3.

4. One had disastrous World Cup this year, the other had a forgettable Eurotrip.

5. Neither of them has a coach.

England had a lifeline thrown in to their way by Israel, but they decided to squander it. The media were spot on when they gave him the title “Wally with a brolly”.

Karnataka politics, even a bollywood script writer couldn’t write a story better than this. Three u-turns in a single month. JD(S) is party who have a bunch of jokers at their helm. One day they come up with the decision of supporting BJP, the very next day they withdraw their support. Now the situation has come to standstill, I seriously have doubt whether any parties are gonna believe these bunch of jokers and idiots. They are making fun of the citizens. I have consternations regarding the future of the state I am residing in.

On a long enough timeline, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero.

Life cycle,cigarettes and a broken washing machine

Life is not so easy these days. 24 hours seem to be not enough for me. I have a lot of work. Little time to enjoy the rain. Little time to feel the cool breeze against my face, Little time to enjoy the beautiful girls passing by. My mind wanders a lot these days; I am addicted to my Media Player; I fear I am going to become yet another common man, I fear my life cycle not going to be any different from that of the manager who sits three cubicles from me. When I was young I wanted to be astrophysicist. But now I am sitting in front of a PC doing some hardcore coding and testing which I never thought I could do in this life or the next. People say life is unpredictable, but it is not, you follow the same cycle, you are cast into the same mundane cycle as everyone else. When I was young I thought I could be a revolutionary. I know a day will come when I will be more worried about the Sensex rather than the impoverished population around me. I know a day will come when I will be more worried about my taxes than the results of Arsenal. The wait for the D-day has begun.

I still don’t know who invented cigarettes. It was a sort of style statement or a sort of machismo in college; It bonded relationships, it broke relationships. We passed it around as we talked about the tensions in the Soviet Bloc. We felt a sort of pride when we had it between our fingers. We felt it was the only thing needed to survive in a cold winter, whiskey is the exception. I resorted to all sort of intoxications that I could. With cigarette in hand I felt like a man, simply that was it. That days are gone I am not a college student anymore moreover my lungs would have called it a day earlier than the expected date if I had continued the habit. No cigarettes. Smoke-Free World, life seems to surrealistic everyday.

Our washing machine is down. The most essential gizmo in a bachelor’s life. Load all your dirty clothes, turn on the tap, turn some regulators, deliberately pour detergent on to it. Sit back relax. Rest is history. Even though I and Kondu are ready to buy a new one Bulshee doesn’t seem to have enough you know what.

Anyway I need to get back to the good old testing.

 

Why the trio must leave?

Sachin,Dravid and Ganguly the "trimurthis" of Indian cricket has become more or less like a burden to the young generation. They are legends, they have made enough records that few can surpass, but the time has come the time or the age where arthritis catch one's feet faster than their reaction time on pitch, the time to call it a day.
The new generation has enough experience under their belt, enough experience to carry on their own. They have learnt a lot from them. But to move forward, the trio must be shown the exit door. I'd rather suggest them to retire in a high note than getting showed the door.
I'd rather suggest an example that I like on this matter. The example called the "Arsenal", where the Professor has the ultimate word. He didn't hesitate to sell Vieira or Henry, both the times critics said he club is doomed. But the Professor is always right. The first one paved the way for arguably one of the best midfielders in the world, the second one made the team gel even better now that they don't have to play the ball to TH14. The team are playing with a swagger that nobody could have ever expected. They are young, they are intelligent, they are confident more over they are Wenger's disciples. It is too early to comment on the outcome. But "In Arsene We Trust"
Back2India. Nobody expected young Indians to win the cup when they went to SA for T20 world cup, but they came as heroes, as the world champions. When the time comes even the Gods must call it a day.

Juxtaposition(!!) of unconnected thoughts...hmmm

Ever since I have written this  things have gone worse. 7pm is more than just a dream for me. Defects are piling up, pending test cases are overflowing my excel sheet. I am confused about what to do next. I am passing through the daily mundane of an ordinary software engineer. My hands are frozen now, my lungs feel burnt and I feel suffocated. Media player is playing “Stairway to Heaven”, seems to be a little more than just an irony. I have started wearing anti-glare to protect my eyes from the obnoxious mails of my manager.

Things are bad. Even though I was confirmed a month ago I haven’t received my confirmation. Things are good. We are the world champions and the young gunners are back in track after two seasons.  Things are unpredictable. Jose Mourinho, one of the finest in his class go the axe. I am getting little time to vent my feelings on to the net as a post. Bulshee must be a sort of free bird, writing blogs whenever he wants, cooking spaghettis whenever he likes and indulging in all sorts of fun whenever he wishes to.

The season is so far so good for an Arsenal fan. Despite the departure of the GOD this season, younger demigods are in total control of the table. Scoring goals like rain in a tropical forest. I watch most of the games under the influence of one or other sort of intoxications. It makes me more passionate, more passionate towards the club, more passionate towards the club. I feel good whenever I feel passionate about the game. I had always felt bad whenever my you know who asked me not to watch the game or be less passionate about the game. I was asked not to be myself. Now that nobody is in control of my wishes or my life, I can watch the game as long as I want to and enjoy the drink as long as my body can take.

Certain things never change, so is the concern of my manger towards the well being of his co-workers. He made me slog for three more extra hours when I wanted to leave early to see my dad. By the way I am off to home this week. 5 days of “eternal” bliss. I enjoy solitude, I enjoy darkness, I enjoy cool breeze, I detest open doors and windows, I love the sky, I love the grass. I love going for a long bike ride alone after a heavy rain.

BJPs statements regarding Ram-Sethu are rubbish, foolish and moronic. I am deeply concerned with the existence of life in this beautiful planet. I don’t know why sometimes I hate myself.

I have learnt that C programmers die, and then they will be casted into the call stack.

Long time, Onam and the Manager

It’s a long time since I’ve blogged. Time just doesn’t permit. What I have planned just not seems to be working. Endless hours of slogging… 24 hours a day just ain’t enough for me to finish my activities. Testing, coding and sending those bullshit excel sheets, updating the daily status, filling the timesheets for doing all those bullshits, life is full of surprises, indeed.

Meanwhile I am back from home, celebrating Onam with my family. The journey to home was a little less than adventurous. I am telling about the bus journey. The private bus operators who operate between Kerala and Bangalore make a lot of moolah during these festive seasons. Tens of thousand poor souls are at their mercy; those wicked souls make most of it. Last year I had the experience of sitting in a bus, whose shock absorber was made from elastic of the first ‘jockey’ ever made, for 20 long hours to reach home. So when my bro called me this time for booking ticket I clearly made my point to book a ticket in an AC Volvo so that I have a smooth journey home. But god disposes. It took me more than 24 hours and 4 vehicles to reach home the other day. But I was happy, happy that I’m home.

I thought usual age that guys marry is around 26-29, but I was actually proved wrong by an old high school friend of mine (who is 22 years old now), who got married a year before. Worse still he has a kid now, who is 6 months old. I don’t know whether anything “worse” had happened so that he had to marry, whatever, it came as terrible surprise to me when I came to know the situation of an old pal who sat next to me in 10^th standard. I donno when god will try to make me a “gentle man”. As of now I am not.

New season of football has begun. I lose a great deal of time watching the game and following up the updates these days. But I say there is nothing more great than to see your favourite team winning. You feel the pride, you pound your chest hard out of joy because your team has just scored the winning goal. Sometimes winning is everything. You feel your stomach sink when the opposition bury the ball in your post, some times it seems like you are going to die.

This is dedicated to my manager who sanctioned me only one day leave for Onam when I asked for 4 days leave. Long live the manager.

 

C programmers never die. They are just cast into void.

Brand new month, brand new project, and brand new way to get scr****. I never expected that I will get such a long break after the previous project. * hours of break, that was great indeed. Anyway I can’t go back in to the past and see whether things would get better or not.

But I have made a plan. Reach office by 9. Slog till 7, with a little entertainment in between and go home. Even if they threaten me that they’ll put me into a nuclear dump yard for not staying late in the cold cubicle, I won’t give a sh*t. That’s it. I am not here to become a king. I am here, just to slog, slog for the official 8 or 9 hours, go home, have a warm meal, have a cozy sleep.

It may affect my appraisal, it may affect my bonus or whatever fuc***ng things they may give me for their slave and work 16 hours a day. I want live like a man, not like a slave. I’d rather earn less and be a man than be a slave and earn more. I have learnt a lot.

“C programmers never die. They are just cast into void.”

When the God departs!!

The time has come, the departure of Dein and the Master Wenger failing to commit to Arsenal has resulted in the inevitable, Thierry Henry, the God of Arsenal departs. All fans of EPL should shed a tear. Henry was such a talismanic striker, a prolific goal scorer that EPL has seen over years. While his unending love for the club and fans are known, nevertheless he departs.

Departure of Dein, over the controversy of taking over of Arsenal by sports mogul Kroenke has sent a chain of seismic waves across Arsenal. The loss is not for the board, but for us, the fans who loved the club, for the fans who considered Henry as their God. We will miss the va-va vroom. We will miss those goals.

Henry flirted with Barcelona for a while. A year ago when the French star agonised over whether to stay with the Gunners or head for the Nou Camp, there was a gravitational pull dragging him back to North London. The gravitational pull who was there at the right and left of him  when he committed to Arsenal. I still remember that short press conference.

Dein: Thierry has got something to say.

TH14: (with a smile)I have played in France I have played in Italy and I have played in England, but I’ve never played in Spain and in this life I will never play in Spain.

Thus he committed to Arsenal.

It was now or never for Henry. Sadly it is NOW.

This is no ordinary player quitting the Emirates, Henry is a man who epitomises everything which new Arsenal stood for. He played the beautiful game and, given licence by Wenger, transformed the team from one which had the reputation of “boring Arsenal” to “scoring Arsenal”. They were the great entertainers who went through a whole league season unbeaten, not by protecting their own penalty area but by playing the game with a swagger. Henry was Premiership box office. He was one of those players opposition supporters wanted to see. Who could forgot the way Portsmouth fans took him to their hearts while he was single-handedly destroying them. Henry was a man who lifted people off seats.

But without him, and without Kroenke and perhaps even Wenger, the magnificent new Emirates Stadium could soon feel very empty.

Love, friendship and the ill-fated self

Here's how it goes, you and me, up and down but maybe this time

We'll get it right, worth the fight

'Cause love is something you can't shake

When it breaks

All it takes is some trying

If you feel like leaving

I'm not gonna beg you to stay

But soon you'll be finding

You can run, you can hide

But you can't escape my love

You can run, you can hide

But you can't escape my love

So, if you go

You should know

It's hard to just forget the past, so fast

It was good, it was bad but it was real

And that's, all you have, in the end, our love matters

The above is a snippet from Enrique Iglesias’ Escape. The song has a great importance in my life, the past, the present and may be the future too. This song has many things I wanted to tell, tell to whom I loved the most. But life never makes us do something that we yearn the most. Sometimes it pushes close the opposites, and sometimes it pulls lives apart. I have never been able to find solution to many things that happened in my life, whatever it may be. I never knew a small fight could have made a catastrophic effect in my life. But I know, it’s past, I have my present with me and my future ahead of me. I know I have a world to conquer.

Certain things always linger in our mind whatever we do or try to forget. Most times it will be the most aching memories that will remain in our minds forever. When we feel we are very much alone it comes to our mind and goes with leaving a drop of tear in our eyes. I don’t know why or how it happens, but it happens. Life is strange.

I had good times, I had hard times, particularly one hard time. It was my friends and family who supported me to get over all the turbulence I had. I am indebted to Bulshee, Kozhi, Sankaran, Ragav, Anish and Anilu who supported me strongly. Now I know one thing, apart from the family, friends not love that is important in our life. The love may leave when the time is bad but friends will never cheat us. They will there always to support you, to cheer you, irrespective of your situation.

 

After APJ, is it a lady?

The time has come; the time to elect a new president for the world’s largest democracy, India. There were a lot of debates regarding who is who will be the candidate. Names came up, names went down. People turned up for one. People turned against another. It was all the part of what is called political drama. Channels conducted polls; the entire matter got over hyped.  Names like Narayanamurthy and the Big B appeared from the moon. I couldn’t find any sense in any political party or alliance fielding those names, may be it’ll be just another trick by the channels to add more colour to their news and the polls.

Shall we tell the president? Pratibha Patil, the current governor of Rajasthan, the only that ever had a female pair at the helm of administration, name came from no where. I didn’t know even about her existence prior to this. The left always had vied for a female president, last time they fielded Capt:Lakshmi against the talented long haired bachelor from Ramashweram. The result is you know what, was a just a waste of talent, at least according to me.

India is widely regarded as one of the most conservative states, with religious extremism and inequality towards females playing a big part. Religious extremism is more or less a stimulated thing. With many inspirational orators using their skills for making devilish rather than ugly remarks on other religions or sects nothing could get worse than this. The claim for “Ram Janmbhoomi” and the subsequent riots will remain in the hearts of all Muslims and Hindus forever. Everything happened just because of one man; One man who made that dirty claim that Hindustan is for Hindus. Is India a secular state? Undoubtedly it is not. Whatever they do, whoever they kill, the colour of blood will remain red fro Ram and Rahim.

In India the females are supposed to play second fiddle to her husband. They are meant to be at home, cook food, look after her kids and husband, her parents etc, they are housewives married not to her husband but to the house, they are housewives. She should obey her husband, whatever the husband tells. It is always the woman, who resigns her job to join spouse, not the other way round. The sex ratio in many states in India is so pitiful that the grooms need to find his bride from other states. Why the females are always the down-trodden?

Fielding a woman candidate has more political implication than anything else. The taxpayers are not affected by it. It will raise to controversies, the use of “Rashtrapathi” will be awkward. Whatever the president candidates tell there are two things that is certain.

1. The President of India can’t do anything alone.
2. The President shall and will remain as a rubber stamp.

 

 

On the road Off the road

I have decided many things in the past few weeks; to be precise I have made three big decisions which will have drastic effects on my small life on my big body.

1. Shifting the house

2. Buying a new phone.

3. Losing weight :-)

The first one was their in our mind for quite a long time. There are many things that made us to take the decisions. Dust, airbuses, Boeings and fighter jets are having detrimental effects on our peaceful lives. Whatever we do to keep our house clean something fails every time. We donno why? The house has become more or less dump yard of beer bottles, whisky bottles, empty pizza and Lays packets. The whole house stinks. The electric wiring system is totally perfect that even the best bookie in the world cannot give the odds to which fuse will blow off when we turn on a switch. The drainage system you assume anything about it and you are right. Then Bulshee, the clean factor in our home, he used to sleep in a room surrounded by his stinking clothes everywhere. We are still puzzled how he runs out of clean pair of dress even after two days of washing. The house was fun with the seniors in the floor above and us juniors below. We have had many good times. We were the kings of the good times. But the time has come, the time to part. Anish and Sankaran going to USA, Ragav going to Ahmedabad to have one more degree at the end of their names and one or two more zeroes to the salary they were getting.

The new phone. I am about to purchase the fifth phone this year. I had a Samsung, and then bought two motorolas for me and you know who (doesn’t exist now), after that I bought a Nokia on which I tried to test the impact of it on the wall which left all the intricate elements in it thwarted. So now I plan to buy Nokia E-50 or an i-mate, haven’t decided on it.

When I finished my college last year around this time I was weighing around 70 kg. After a long year of slogging in front of the machine and sipping calorified coffee from the vending machine and drinking beer every other day made my weight sky rocket from 70 to 85 in a matter of weeks. The spare around my waist has also grown a bit too large that I am a bit embarrassed to tuck in my shirt. There are also many personal reasons for my resorting to alcohol for a few weeks. I know you have guessed what my personal problems “was”. It happens in life, and when it happens it happens for good. Now I have a large amount of time, to think about my career, think about my life, and I have enough time to read something useful. Love really was a poison that had gripped me for more than two years. But I am a happy man now happier than before.

Now that we have zeroed in our new house which has a gym and swimming pool there is a high chance in losing weight. I have a plans and I have a partner in crime none other than Bulshee.

Life sometimes is funnier than you expect it to be.

Cheers

-Gunner

Tequila Monarco and the art of breaking the beer bottle on a "WALL"

 

Last Saturday was a working day for me. It was an emergency working day, because the code we had delivered after two months of hardship crumbled like the top order of Indian cricket team at the World Cup at the hands of testing team. They brutally tested it and destroyed it. My first project as a developer: MISSSION FAILED. The worst thing was that a party was arranged for that day and I had to stay in office very late.

The Tequila: Kondu brought two bottles of fine Tequila for us to savour. I am an inexperienced guy, who has seen Tequila in the glass shelves of some wine malls. The price was too high for an average working class that I feared to touch it. Tequila Monarco, two bottles of it were resting at the kitchen for the past two weeks. We were looking for an occasion to indulge in the happiness that is Monarco. A showdown was scheduled. 26^th May, the D’day. Guest from land as far as BTM were invited for the occasion. The stage is perfectly set. Bulshee the master planner made everything perfect to the minute level. Shot glass, Beer(18 bottles of it), enough lemons and salt.

Buckets were properly arranged so that in case of an emergency no one needs to rush to nearest bathroom or to the outside “WALL”. I had notorious reputation in college for which Bulshee was the most serious sufferer. Two times I must say he suffered. One time in his room, the next time right on him. Yet Bulshee is a gentleman.

The need for 18 bottles of beer for 9 person were easily justified on the very first minute itself. A two minute double salvo by Bulshee and Anish made the beer count reduced to 16. Tequila began to flow. Music was played aloud. Everyone drifted into a journey to the unknown. Seeing the opportunity I, Maman and Anish escaped to the kitchen with a bottle where we took shots one after another only to face Bulshee’s wrath for cheating.

One gentleman who was a complete teetotaller broke his vow by taking his first sip of the pleasure. We poor drinkers had a modest start sipping to the sourness of some cheap rum.

Thakku(name is not real to maintain anonymity), who is extremely vulnerable to alcohol already had a bottle of beer and three shots of tequila opened upyet another bottle of beer and suddenly ran out of the house breaking yet another bottle and pouring beer all over the house and getting himself “WALL”ed again. But his determination is tremendous. He even had the courage to have yet another beer. He is strong physically unlike his looks. Thakku I salute you!!

Next morning I woke up only to hear that Maman and Anish were knocked out completely and their body had rejected everything that they consumed later into the night.

Yet it was a great night. The next day we had a luncheon at IndiJoes, a treat by Raghav for his IIMA call

Seconds From Disaster: CAT'05

11 pm 19th November 2005, E Hostel, NIT Calicut.
The day before the CAT. Even though I was not at all prepared to face the challenge, I was brimming with confidence. After having a session of gossips at Kozhi aka Thaseem's room with Ajmal, Anilesh and Cheri I went to my room for a comfortable sleep. I was making my bed with the door unclosed. A mob of bast***s entered the room who don't even mind pimping their mother. The debate started.
The biggest ma-fcker of all started the conversation.
MF: You wanna hit me, right?
me: Why did you hit Anilesh and Kunji?
MF: I came to resolve the problem.
me: Catching by neck is the way you resolve it?
I saw a hand heading straight to my face.
[Lights went off]
I am not sure whether I fell down by their beat up or intentionally jumped to a corner so as to avoid much of their beating. One thing I was sure that I yelled like hell which caught the attention of Anilesh, Ajmal and every other neighbour. They came to the rescue. Much to their dismay my room was heavily guarded by the watch dogs of the biggest ma-fcker. More than 25 people to beat up a poor guy like me. In a minute or two they finished their work and ran back to their so called mother's womb, F-Hostel. I was bleeding profusely
Meanwhile all the radis has assembled before the F Hostel. If a fight would have broken out it'll be against all the predictions whcih will result atleast 5 serious casualties. Meanwhile some profs came to the scene of incident.
Angry Timman beating on car's bonnet: Sir, Ningal enthenkilum cheythillenkil njangal avere kollum[If you don't do anything we'll kill'em].
I went to hospital just for the sake of it. Entire college union got suspended because of the incident.
Disasters don't just happen happen. They are a chain of critical events. I unravel the fateful incidents which lead to the seconds from disaster.
15 th November 2005. The day before the economics exam:
The magazine committee brings out a so called newsletter hurting some people's sentiments. We[from here the we means the people who are thirsty for blood, I,Anilesh,Kunji,Maman,Ragav,Mambu,Parachetta,JT and to some extent Manjeri] were totally unconcerned of the incident. Some of the final years put a poster criticizing the newsletter. Those newsletters were burnt.
One foolish third year dared to tear that poster away inviting our wrath. Some in "we"are still unmoved. Many final years under the leadership of the one and only trouble maker ParaChetta moves to see the "foolish gentleman who tore that poster". Parachetta's dialogue over there are extremely X rated and cannot be quoted here.
Behind the scene, another junior engaged in another debate with Mambu and tells him that he will tear away any poster that the final years will put. "Phum" he got his first bash right on his face. Credits: Manik Scoot Mambu.
Ma-fcker along with a person whos size is little bigger than a mouse comes to the scene thinking that he can resolve anything under the sky. The first thing he did was catching Kunji by the neck. Anilesh smashed MF right on his face. He caught Anilesh by the neck. Now it was my turn to give him a knock. I gave him a double. Curtains lowered for the moment. Everyone back to their rooms. I, Anilesh and Maman in my room started discussing about the fun in the fight. We heard some noise downstairs, we knew something is happening something really nasty. What we saw was one of our fellow comrade getting beaten by six or seven bast***s. We rushed to the scene. I engaged in a duel with one of the bast***s which ended in a stalemate. Meanwhile I saw Anilesh knocking MF like a dog. I wasted no chance. I gave him a flying kick that took MF to the window side. I gave him my share of bash. I ended up in a corner while fighting. I heard the guy who got his urinary bladder blocked in the last fight yelling"Rush in we got him(that's me) in the corner, have your chance" Thommi and Gym rushed to the scene pulling apart everine who surrounded me. I was spared. We won the fight. No casualities.
Little did I know that after three days inevitable was going to happen. They went to Anilesh's room first, but failes in their mission then came to mine. Rest is history.

 

Strep throat, Manjeri's bullet and defects from the moon

There are good times, there are bad times. Last week I had a fine scotch, J&B. But that has one irreparable damages to my throat. I've got a strep throat, a big bad strep throat. When the pain became no longer bearable, I searched the net for sore throat symptoms, medicines and side-effects. I got much of my answers in the first two sections. But there was one shocking information in the third section. If not treated well the sore throat can lead to the damage of heart valves. That was too much for me. Damaged heart valve at this age!!! But now I'm almost ok, thanks to the antibiotics. They are on work killing all the bacteria. So friends when you get some throat ache or swallowing becomes painful,its better to refrain from smoking or drinking alcohol. The Doctor has warned me not to touch alcohol for two months and totally abstain from smoking in this life or the next. I fear I cannot take a shot of original Mexican Tequila that Kondu has brought from US, exclusively for us. Life, at times is cruel.(*sigh*)
The most entertaining man in our house, MANJERI. He is going to buy a bullet, a big, old and bad bullet. No one can imagine Manjeri driving a motorcycle, that even bullet. He was famous in college for doing adventure sports with a bike with Kunji on their way to Wayanad. We were lucky that "Radicals Jt Conveners" were spared by the God Almighty. His demands from the 10 year old bullet is quite modest.

1. Condition: Extremely good and low maintenance.

2. Mileage: 40-45kmpl.

3. Price: Under 20k
What a modest demands for a ten year old bullet. Manjeri, I have heard a certain good news for you from a friend who "really" has a Thunderbird.
1. Even his brand new bike is giving him hell lot of troubles.

2. Another guy who owns a three year old bullet always carries a spare clutch cable with him because it breaks every now and then.

3. They are "still" improving the design with every versions, that means there is no optimal versions so far.

4. Only if you are a bullet freak or a mechanic, you buy a ten year old bullet because it'll be fun running all the time for buying new parts and changing old things.
I really didn't expect the most elegant Indian made motor cycle had these many problems. Manjeri, now it's up to you to make the decision.
Need to do some f***ing teasing and need to find five f***ing defects everyday. That is the order from above. I hope I get some defect, at least some from the moon.

 

I want to open the dump valves on oil tankers and smother all those French beaches I'd never see. I want to breathe smoke. I want to destroy something beautiful.

The week that was!!

May 1st to May 6th, long long 6 days off from the work. Really there are no work to do these days. Even if its there it'll be over in a minute or two. The six days holiday were great. Having got nothing to do and having a new 2mbps connection at home will open the doors to many restricted sites especially when the mind is idle. Bulshee even complained about not bringing any of those stuffs. How I can say to him that what I did with that extraordinary internet connection was trying to download some game for 6-10 year old that I was addicted to when I was in 11th and 12th standard. Bulshee, don't worry man I'll bring the stuff you need the next time I go home.
The last week was a week that was. Ragav got into IIM-A and Anilu into IIM-B, two of the fellow bloggers!!
At home my dad and mom complained about I getting obese. The only exercise I do these days is walking to cafeteria for a cup of coffee. I know I'm getting fatter. But how can I avoid those usual pints. Without it life is nothing. Since Kondu left for US, I have been drinking alone. Watching some match or movies, I enjoying sipping those great whiskies. Now that Kondu has returned I have got my partner in crime back. The only thing he is interested in this life are cigarettes and liquor. He is as lean as match stick. But he drinks like a fish and smokes like a steam train. The way his nickname sounds you can understand why he's called so. I met him on the first year of college and we became great friends. When I,Anilu and Maman talked about whiskies and smoking he preached total abstinence. In his life there were only three commandments, those given by his father.
1.Son, Don't smoke
2.Alcohol is poison
3.Sonny Boy, Stay away from the babes.
But he lives now on these commandments.
1. I have a PUC certificate which is to be updated every next day
2. There is no life without those drinks.
3. Man is a social animal and he is not a racist to not socialize with a race called babes.
But Kondu, you are fun.
The arrival of Kondu and Chelsea losing the title at Emirates, all occurred yesterday. Red Devils can take the trophy back to Old Trafford after four long years. Chelsea chased quadruple. But now they've only FAcup to fight for. I accept Arsenal trophy cabinet has been empty for last two years. Jose Mourinho even dared to call Liverpool a small club before their crucial UCL semi final 2nd leg which they eventually lost to Liverpool. He doesn't have humility, he doesn't have respect. He even mocked the way Cristiano Ronaldo was brought up. He mocked the double player of the year's lack of schooling. I accept the fact that Jose Mourinho's man management is second to none. He is like a school boy who keeps on whining about his defeat. He never accept the fact that his team is outplayed. He has the skills to make a club bankrupt even with winning trophies.That's the Jose Mourinho way. He doesn't' know about the history and size of Anfield. He doesn't know the craftsmanship of Sir Alex.He doesn't know the supreme talent hunter in Arsene Wenger. He knows only one thing he is the "very special one."